Hold on now your exits here

–  Literally me leaving my town  -.

For months..no truthfully …years now, my life has been slowly strangling me. It felt constrained and claustrophobic and rubbed in all the wrong places like a badly fitting pair of shoes. A series of decisions and choices and places, people, jobs and habits that no longer worked. All held together with string and bits of glue and I felt completely trapped.

A few years ago everything started to change. Then 2 years ago I had a conversation in a cafe with a stranger. It was a fantastic conversation as conversations with strangers often are. I had no idea at the time though it would be so pivotal and nor would I for another 6 to 8 months.

But here’s the gist of it. Last week I closed the door to my house possibly for the last time. I packed the entire contents of my life into a small garden shed (cause you’ve never culled till you’ve culled knowing that your stuff isn’t worth the storage costs and you don’t know when you’ll be back) I’ve spent time with the important peeps of my life and now me, my one backpack and one small bag are headed off to face life one anxiety attack at a time. Should be good for some laughs.

Here’s my question to myself. What will I find out!? How brave can I be? How far outside of my comfort zone can I push myself and still keep going? How and in what ways will this change me? Or will I contract too timid to expand? I’m pretty excited to find out. What I already know… I can’t do life the way I have done for so long. Some things already have changed too much to ever go back.This adventure and experiment long ago stopped being a choice. I simply can not stay.

So firstly I thought I’d take a long walk….The Camino is calling. I thought I’d like to have some more great conversations with strangers and learn answers to questions I don’t even know to ask yet. Along the way I thought we could chat about stuff that is/isn’t working. Lessons we’re all learning or have learnt. Life. Stuff . Adulting. Have some fun along the way. If you see me about..be sure to say hi. Maybe we can go grab a coffee.

Wish me luck.

E x

 

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