Wandering around different countries as I have been and gifted with the life skill of being able to get lost absolutely anywhere, I have a tendency to love those signs that show you not only where you are but usually what is around you and if you’re lucky, how to get to where you want to go. Which got me thinking how handy that would be to have in life.
I think all of us have times where we would have loved one of those maps. When we’ve just have no clue where the hell we’re going or we know where we’d like to go but have no idea how to get there. Sometimes when the changes are big enough we have no idea who we will be or even where we’ll be at the end of it and that can be terrifying. The potential in that though is enormous and that is a great thing to realise and to remember. It’s not all just wandering around looking up, back and sideways trying to work out where you are.
It is during these times that we have the opportunity wanted or not to redesign our lives. Small or large. Sometimes it will be through choice sometimes through necessity. For me it has never been more constant than the last few years as I’ve redesigned one part of my life after another. It turns out there can be long periods of change too. Sometimes change comes whether we want it to or not. Often we’re not ready. Regardless of how it comes though, even when wanted .. It can be deeply uncomfortable and scary but it is a natural part of life. If we never change we become stagnant. We’d be the same people at 60 that we were at 16.. and although we all probably know someone or even a few people like that I think we can all agree it’s not the ideal we are aiming for.
Change is going to come anyway and how we choose to think about and deal with it is often the only control we will have. Try thinking of it like the it’s the next paragraph or a new chapter in the book that is your life. We design what we can, accept what we can’t and fit it all into the larger story. Navigating towards the outcome we’d like – because you’re not a passenger but realise there are other factors and or people involved and we don’t have control of those. That Is where all the challenge and change, fun and joy lies. Because it can also be great and joyous and full of growth.. always there is growth if nothing else but you must be open to it. Try breathing and relaxing into it instead. I promise it’s easier.
Words can be incredibly powerful in this. Your brain is susceptible and if you keep telling it this is stressful and hard – it’ll believe you, it has not reason not to. So stressful and hard it is. How you frame the experiences, the words you use can make a big difference. You will often hear me talk about “adventures” Some of them are exactly that.. fantastic adventures I planned. Some of them not so much .. but they are all “adventures” just the same. I try never to have “Oh, shit” moments so much as “Well, this will be interesting/exciting” moments. Lets be honest things don’t always go how we’d like. But reframing it often helps. If they’re changes you’d hoped for or were working towards breathing into it is easier there can be some fear of change but also excitement to offset that. In those cases just hang on for one minute more you’ll be out the other side before you know it.
So “You Are Here” but you’d really like to be “there”. There is no map unfortunately. The directions to the place you want to be are not always clear. Definitely not lineal and sometimes you’re going to get lost. I can almost guarantee you of that. There is more than one way from point A to point B and that is the greatest news ever! The only prerequisite then is that you keep moving, keep learning. That’s it. Easy peasy. If you end up in the wrong place, or a dead end. If you’re not where you want to be just take your bearings and start again in another direction. Some ways will be easy, some harder. Short, long, challenging, fun or joyous. As the end of the year approaches there is no better time to look around and think about if you’re headed in the right direction for where you want to go? So.
YOU ARE HERE… Where to next?
Always E x