A long time ago.. in a place far far away…. I was a manager. I managed a team of people. I sat on a million committees. I trained. What I specialised in though was change management. Of people, of processes of parts of the business. I loooved  it. That part anyway. The results. A top performing team. Lots of time and dollars saved. Easier,  better or quicker ways of doing things. Early marks for my team to get home to their lives. Job done, targets and service levels exceeded.

There was always the initial fear for every project I was asked to look at or something I took on myself because .. could I do it this time? Where did I even start with this one? What if this was the one I failed at? What would the higher ups say or would I look foolish because “she should have just left it alone” There’s always someone that would be happy to see you fall on your face. That’s life. But there was always a stronger feeling than that.. a Frisson… The thought “I have no idea.. but I am jumping into this anyway” The possibilities. It was exciting and those things overrode the fears.

This is what I find so humorous. Years later my personal life not working. Not acting through fear of change and possible consequences, of people, places was having negative effects and impacts. That had continued for more years than it should, to varying degrees. What I had always found easy and enjoyable in business I had never been as successful at in my personal life.

I wanted to find a way to overlay what I knew and thrived on in business onto my personal life to reach “targets and service levels” and implement if not “best practice” at least better practice. Floating along … at the whim of everyone and everything else wasn’t producing great results. Life was just happening. I wasn’t challenging anything, anyone or myself. No rocking the boat – too risky. Not defining or fixing in meaningful or permanent ways. “Get a life”… is my reminder to myself. What I’m out here doing now. Looking. Defining. Analysing. Narrowing it down. Creating. I read once that if you do not define for yourself the life you want then you will just have to accept what life gives you. That sounds rather unappealing to me…interim results did not look good.

It’s more a case I know what I don’t want and I’ll work backwards from there. I’m going to use what I know. It was sexy and it was fun and it was immensely gratifying. What works in business has to be able to be adapted. I have used the systems in my personal life, just not enough. Now though, I want to refine and improve the results, reach some goals. Decide some goals even. I’m not reinventing the wheel here people have been doing this for years. I just want to find the way that works  – the way I know how to do it. Come along for the ride if you like – maybe I can save you some time or help you hit some goals as well.

I’m going to go research, experiment and keep adventuring some more. Learn from people smarter than me. Till I find that sweet spot. I’ll report back let you know what I’m doing. What I’ve found. It’ll be nice to think out loud.. have somewhere to throw all this stuff and have a record of some of the fun I’ve gotten to have along the way.

This could be fun or anxiety producing.. or both. Let’s see.

 

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